are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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