You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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