I have demons in me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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