Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
