drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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