Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
