I love black thongs
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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