I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
