who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
