in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
accomplished twins. life is a go
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
