yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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