Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
