Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
