Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
