Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
