tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
