I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
