NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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