your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
