Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
