im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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