I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
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Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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