Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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