I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
