I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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