Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize
