My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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