rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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