I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
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i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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