I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
