Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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