return my video game
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
