im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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