the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
