this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize