put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
