i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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