Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
