Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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