I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
