why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
