yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
