Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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