im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
