Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
