Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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