We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize