I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am one with the molecules
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
