Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
