I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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