Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
