and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize