I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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