hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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