We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize