so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
