great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
