my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
