party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
