hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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