i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
