It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
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do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
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I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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