I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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