So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
