No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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