i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
